


'til the need seeps in

by thunder_rolled_a_six



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: Food, Minor Injuries, Other, Post-Canon, References to Drugs, different ways people deal with grief, those sleep pills orth took and mako now takes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 15:16:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18346283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunder_rolled_a_six/pseuds/thunder_rolled_a_six
Summary: 15 years after Rigour's defeat, Orth Godlove slips on the stairs outside his apartment and breaks his ankle. An old friend comes to help him out.





	'til the need seeps in

**Author's Note:**

> title from Sleeping Lessons by the Shins

PART ONE

 

When Orth Godlove slipped on the stairs outside his apartment at age 65, all he could think was “Oh god, I'm definitely going to shatter my hip, I'm definitely that stereotype.” Twelve steps later, he had a minor concussion, a broken ankle, and was bruised six ways to Sunday. The doctor tells him he's lucky, and he can't help but laugh. Being lucky ending up meaning broken bones is such an apt summary of his life. They try to send him home with a nurse, but he refuses. He needs to keep  _ some _ amount of dignity, and he can get around on his crutches ok. So he thinks, anyway. The same stairs he fell on prove to be a challenge. He can get up them fine, but descending is a slow, somewhat painful affair. He begins to avoid leaving the house, ordering food and trying not to feel like he's moping. He tries to write, but feels uninspired, throwing out pages of nonsense. He neglects the plants he has growing in the windowsill, and feels badly about it but now too guilty that they’re dying to do anything to fix it. It’s been five days of this, and he’s begun to admit, ok, fine, he is a little bit wallowing in self pity when there is an insistent knock at the door.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Orth Godlove.” A robotic voice drifts through the synthetic wood. Orth frowns, then shuffles to his feet, grabbing just one crutch as the other had fallen behind the couch the day before and it was at too awkward an angle to retrieve. He looks down at himself, hoping his pajamas are adequate enough to be seen in daylight. He only sees one pizza stain. Probably fine.

 

He looks through the peephole at his visitor. It looks to be a medical robot, standing with a strange amount of impatience. Orth thinks he sees it tap it’s foot. He opens the door.

 

“Uh- Hello, sorry, no, I asked  _ not _ to have a nurse-”

 

“Orth Godlove, you have been hurt. I will make sure you do not hurt yourself more.” The bot moves smoothly past him into his apartment, and Orth is stunned enough that he just shuts the door and follows them in. 

 

“Excuse me!”

 

The bot seems to ignore him, reaching behind the couch to retrieve the fallen crutch that they shouldn’t have any idea of the placement of. They hand it to Orth, who says “Thank you,” automatically, before heading into the kitchen to fill a glass with water. 

 

“Excuse me?”

 

They walk with the water towards his plants. “This species likes shade. This is not the correct place for them.” 

 

“Oh- I... I can move them- Why are you here? Did the doctor send you? I said I didn’t want-”

 

“No one sent me.” They carefully water each plant, pulling back drying leaves to reach the soil. “I saw you were hurt. It took some days to find a suitable body.”

 

“You saw- were you watching me? Who  _ are _ you?”

 

“Orth,” the robot sounds annoyed, even without a very sophisticated voice box. “We are old friends. I watch over you.”

 

_ Old Friends? _ Orth looks closer at them, uncomprehending until pieces slide together in his head and he takes a step forward in surprise. Could it be? AuDy had died, been destroyed with the Kingdom Come, but sometimes Orth had thought he felt their presence. He thought the green lights and ready cabs had mostly been luck and wishful thinking, really, but a part of him had hoped…

 

“AuDy?” 

 

“Yes?”

 

Orth puts a hand on his head, a cartoon of shock. That crutch begins to fall, and he catches it quickly before using it to move across the space towards AuDy. He hesitates only a moment before putting a hand on their shoulder. “AuDy? AuDY. I thought you were dead.”

 

“No. Just incorporeal,” AuDy shrugs, setting the cup next to the last plant. “I have been wandering. I have seen many lovely things.” 

 

Orth lets out a weak laugh. “You’ll have to tell me about them.”

 

AuDy nods. “If you want. I am here to help you. You have not left your house in three days. It is concerning.” 

 

“You were worried about me? Even while incorporeal?” Orth teases. 

 

“Yes,” AuDy says, simply and sincerely, and Orth is suddenly hit with how much he had missed them. It had been about fifteen years since the last battle with Rigour, and the pain of loss had dulled but was still always present. So many had met their end, it is a strange and intense relief to have someone back. Orth lets out a laugh, more watery than he’d like.

 

“That’s not fair! I didn’t know there was a you to be worried about! I would’ve, if I had known!”

 

“Thank you. It is unnecessary.” AuDy takes him by the elbow and leads him, more or less gently, to the couch. “Sit down. I will make you food.” They leave to the small kitchen as soon as Orth has complied.

 

“I didn’t know you could cook? Why can you cook?” He calls, turning on the couch so he can catch glimpses of them as they rummage in his cabinets.

 

“Cassander tried to teach me, once. I was not good at it. I have learned, since.”

 

Orth goes still at the name. “Yeah. Yeah… they were pretty good at it, huh?”

 

“I would not know. I do not taste. But… I have heard that, yes.”

 

“Yeah.” Orth looks away, stares up at the ceiling. He felt he became friends with Cass, in the few years leading up to the end, but AuDy was their shipmate, their team member, they were close. He isn’t sure how divines grieve, but maybe shedding physical form to roam the stars might be part of that. “What’s the loveliest thing you saw? When you were wandering?”

 

There’s only the sounds of cookware in use for a few moments as AuDy considers. “I watched life grow on an uninhabited planet for three years. There was a flower that only bloomed once during that time. I hadn’t seen anything like it, and I am very old.”

 

“That sounds nice.”

 

“It was. I like growing things.”

 

“There’s a botanical garden, nearby. It probably doesn’t have anything that special, but if you’re sticking around awhile I could show you.” 

 

“I will stick around. Awhile. We can see the plants.” 

 

The clicking ignition of the stove starting up is a familiar sound, grounding amidst this strangeness. Orth runs his hand over the worn fabric of his couch, thinking about plants, and people, and death and growth. He is surprised when AuDy is in front of him again, a plate of food in their hands, time having slipped away.

 

“Thank you.” Rice and bright vegetables, seasoned and roasted. “It looks great.”

 

“Yes,” AuDy says. Orth laughs as they sit down beside him. 

 

The food is as good as it looks, AuDy really had learned. Orth hadn't eaten their early attempts, but this was made with care and precision. More than that, it has been so long since someone had cooked for him, since he had shared a meal with a close friend. Orth feels a little overwhelmed.

 

"Your heart rate is elevated. Is something wrong?"

 

"No, I- You can tell?"

 

"This body is suitably equipped to monitor your health."

 

"O..kay. No, I'm fine. I'm ok, AuDY. I'm still just.. surprised, that you're here. Happy! Happy that you're here. I missed you, you know."

 

AuDY contemplates him. "I did not know. I am... sorry. But I did not want to stay."

 

"That's ok," Orth says, resting a hand on AuDy's arm. “I'm glad you got to see lovely things. Were you happy?  _ Are _ you happy?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Good. That's good." 

 

"Are you?"

 

"Happy? Yes. Yeah, AuDy. I've had a pretty fine life, since - since everything. There's- You know. Bad times. When I think too much about everyone who- They didn't get to have fine lives. But it's loud here. There's so many people, who do all sorts of new and wonderful things, and we did that. It's... I'm good. I'm happy. And now I get to see you again! It's good." 

 

AuDy nods. They move their hand to hold Orth's own, and Orth is a little puzzled at the closeness till he realizes he's crying a little bit. "Ah- AuDy, I’m ok. Sorry. I'll be ok."   
  
AuDy nods again, but doesn't let go. Orth squeezes back. They sit on the couch together for a long time, silences occasionally punctured with AuDy's stories of the stars. An artist on a distant planet who never showed their heart wrenching work. The strangest things people searched for when AuDy and Discovery lived as free wifi. The tired doctor with hair braided like Cass’ whose shift they took late one night. 

 

Lovely things.

 

\--

 

When Orth wakes in the morning his first instinct is to dismiss yesterday's events as a dream, but that's difficult to do when AuDy's new chassis is looming by the bed. They stand still and silent near Orth’s nightstand, a metallic guardian. Or maybe this is how they sleep, he thinks. 

 

“Uh. Good morning?”

 

AuDy doesn’t stir, really, just goes from absolute stillness to nodding in his direction. “Good morning. Will we go to the garden today?” 

 

Orth yawns and sits up. “Might as well. I don’t exactly have a full calendar.” He stretches and moves to reach for his crutches to find AuDy is already handing them to him. “Oh- thanks.”

 

"I will help you. What clothes would you like?"

 

Orth feels strange as AuDy moves around his apartment, doing things for him, but it really is such a help he doesn't manage to complain. He draws a line at AuDy actually helping him get dressed, but having someone reach and retrieve things for him makes the morning go much faster than if he had to hobble around on his own. He eats cereal for breakfast, bright and sweet and a childish joy he allows himself now. 

 

"Do you need to... eat?" He asks AuDy over the kitchen table.

 

"This chassis needs to be charged once every five years with high use. Besides any unforeseen maintenance, I will operate unaided till then."

 

"Alright. Well... let me know, if you need maintenance, then."

 

"It will be unnecessary. But I will."

 

They head out by ten, the streets already bustling. AuDy helps him down the stairs.

 

"I could carry you."

 

"Ha! Pardon, but no way in hell."

 

AuDy calls them a cab, even though Orth insists it's only a few blocks away. The ride is short, and in Orth's opinion, a little pointless, but they arrive quickly. It's a large building made of red transparent panels. 

 

"It's solar powered,” Orth explains. "They’re solar panels, the energy not collected by the panels still goes through and helps the plants to grow." He had a lot of free time since his retirement from policing companies, and in that free time he asked a lot of questions. The guide here had seemed very happy to have someone interested in the process. "More efficient than green houses used to be. If a little sinister looking." Orth looks around at the plants and the few other people, at AuDy, all bathed in magenta light. AuDy moves towards the plants, looking close at each row. There are many different plants in the large space, organized into types. Ferns, mosses, flowering plants. Orth is less knowledgeable about this, but AuDy seems to know what they're observing. With a little prompting, they tell Orth about each species they pass. Some they have seen before in their wanderings, a few are new to them. Orth had vaguely known about AuDy's interest in plants before, they had talked about them at some point that he can't remember specifically. He thinks about them taking gentle care with his windowsill plants the other day, and thinks he'll try to keep better care of them from now on. They wander the red-green house all morning until Orth's stomach rumbles, and AuDy announces they must find food.

 

"We can stay awhile longer, if you'd like. I won't immediately perrish, you know," Orth tells them fondly.

 

"No. We will find food now." 

 

They end up at a cafe that's become one of Orth's favorites in recent years. They change their menu all the time, but everything is always delicious and he's friendly with the staff.

 

"Hey Orth!" One of the waiters, Assumption Cemetery, greets him. He's the son of the owner, and is working there while he figures out what he wants to do with his life. "Been a bit! What happened to your leg?"

 

"Fell," Orth says sheepishly. "Stupid. I really am an old man now."

 

"You're not that old," Assumption insists. "You should meet my Grandma sometime. I thinks she's at least a couple of millennia old. 

 

"I am 50,000 years old." AuDy says blankly. "I doubt a human has lived as long as that.” 

 

Orth laughs at the confused expression on Assumption’s face. "This is my, ha, old friend AuDy, could we have a table for two please?"

 

They get seated under the little awning outside, quiet and a nice place to people watch. Orth looks out as a young couple, a parent laughing with their kids, people on their way to work pass by. “I can see the appeal. Of incorporality. Just watching, not having to answer to anyone."

 

"Yes. It was peaceful. A needed respite."

 

Orth smiles at them, a little teasing and a little sad. "The chime really took it out of you, huh?"

 

AuDy is quiet but nods. Orth looks them over. Again, he thinks of the impulse to run away, and what they might have been running from. He's interrupted before he can question them further with the arrival of Assumption.

 

"Something new for you, Orth, your usual!" 

 

"Thank you, Assumption, looks great as always!"

 

The dish is some kind of fish, garnished with lemon and unidentifiable spices, a salad on the side, and a large mug of tea. Orth digs in. "It's still a little weird eating while you just sit there. Is there... anything we could get you?"

 

"I don't mind," AuDy shrugs. "I don't eat. Why would I care if you do?" 

 

"I dunno. Just don't want you to be left out ."

 

AuDy's hands stir, then settle on the table. A half reach. ".... Thank you. It is appreciated."

 

Orth nods, feeling strangely flustered, and returns to his meal.

  
  


\--

 

"Audy?" Orth is sitting on the couch, AuDy is making food. It's familiar now, has become routine over the last few weeks. As Orth's foot has been healing, AuDy has let him help more, but they must have noticed it bothering him more than usual today and banished him from the kitchen. 

 

"Yes?"

 

"Are you trying to woo me?" Orth isn't quite sure where the question comes from, but thinks it's been floating somewhere in the back of his mind for awhile. AuDy became corporeal again for him, apparently, and they've sort of been going on dates for weeks now... it just seems like a question that needs asking.

 

"Woo?"

 

"I think you know what it means."

 

There is silence from the other room for a moment, then AuDy walks to the doorway. They and Orth watch each other. "Would you like it if I was wooing you?" 

 

Orth contemplates for a bit.  "I... Only if you want to be doing it. And it's fine if you don't, I'm happy to have you as a friend. I don't... I dunno. Romance has never... I just think it's been nice, with you around."

 

"I may have done... a small amount of wooing. I am not entirely interested in romance. I also think it has been.... nice ."

 

Orth huffs out a little laugh, smiles over at them. "Ok. Well then, I'm just as woo’d as you want me to be."

 

AuDy nods. "I am glad." They hesitate a moment, half turning back to the kitchen before seeming to make up their mind and walking over to the couch. They pat Orth's cheek once. "I... do not have a mouth." 

 

"Ha- oh? Was that a kiss?"

 

"Yes," AuDy sounds a little annoyed, and, if Orth isn't imagining it, a bit flustered.

 

"Thank you. It was - it was nice."

 

AuDy nods, then goes back to finish dinner. Orth smiles at nothing in particular, feeling light.

 

\--

 

PART TWO

 

Mako Trig hasn't slept in 5658 days. He thinks getting knocked out doesn't count, probably. It's not resting, maybe, so that's ok. He's- Well, he's nodded off, once or twice or (473 times, exactly.) Never for long. He was up and back to it, quick, honest. He works, he keeps moving, always moving. Says hi, Aria, hi Aria's kids (10 and 13 now and it's a lie, he hasn't seen them in 1327 days.) He's stopped countless (3452) threats to society with the Rapid Evening, he's gotten great at the whole secret agent thing, he was always pretty good at it, but he's more efficient now. 

 

It's still a surprise when he gets knocked flat off his ring of saturn (still operational, more effective than walking everywhere) and a robotic voice says his name in a somehow exasperated tone.

 

"Woah- huh- Hey!" Mako blinks up at the sky and the buildings on- Counterweight? Is that where he is? He's been so many places and things get blurry sometimes, it's all- he does a lot. Moves a lot. Ok, look. Mako scans the area for whatever- who hit him. A synthetic med unit stands above him and yeah there's no way around it this thing looks cross. 

 

"Mako Trig," it says again. Mako can  _ feel _ it frown. I have been watching you, and you have not been taking care." 

 

"Watching? What! That's creepy, whoever you are, also nearly impossible I think. I watch, that's my job. I'd have noticed."

 

“I was very far away. Incorporeal." They hold out a hand. “You should not lay in the street."

 

"You're the one who knocked me down, that's your fault!" He says, though he takes the proffered hand. Mysterious watcher, ok, Addax hadn't let on anything, if this is true this is either a friend or so dangerous further exploration can only make him slightly more dead than he would already be. And, you know, this way he can-

 

plants growth endless growth trees so old they don't have names anymore a song an old old song trees saplings saplings saplings scion definition a young shoot or twig of a plant especially used for grafting or rooting scion definition a descendant of a notable family saplings trees metal familiar metal and he knows there's squid ink pasta in the fridge can hear Aria's laugh can hear himself and Cass and 

 

"AuDy?" Mako reels, trips backwards and almost falls again. Then steps forward, forward, grabbing onto cool metal arms. "You're not you, you don't look like- You're different- You were gone! You're dead!"

 

"Incorporeal." 

 

"Oh, yeah, ok, fuck you." Mako stares close, trying to look for confirmation of something he already knows with absolute certainty. It's AuDy. Really. "Where were you."

 

"I was many places. Sometimes no places. Recently, Orth Godlove's house."

 

"Orth- why?"

 

"He was hurt and I felt he needed help."

 

"Hurt? Like- did somebody try to-"

 

"He fell down his stairs."

 

Mako laughs, a little, he can't help it. Of course he fucking would. He hasn't seen him in awhile (4002 days) but he can clearly picture a cartoonish old man version of him. Only would've been more spot on if he'd broken a hip.

 

“You will come with me now.” AuDy grabs his hand and turns and begins to walk.

 

“Hey!” Mako scrambles to grab the ring of Saturn before following. "Where are are we going?" He has work to do, he is supposed to be tracking down a wayward agent who had taken tech that they couldn't allow to reach the public. It's important. "AuDy, I don't have time for-" 

 

"You do. I have arranged for agent Boundary to be picked up for speeding violations. She will be easily collectible for any other agent to pick up. I have filed sick leave for you. You have over 700 hours of paid leave time. You will use it now."

 

Mako tries to dig his feet in, but AuDy's new chassis is strong and AuDy has always been awful and stubborn. Why had they been friends? "Why were we friends?"

 

"Are friends. I am your friend. We did hard things together. You were brave, and amusing, and annoying. I do not wish to see you so tired."

 

"You don't get to decide that, I don't think."

 

"I am a medical unit. I can make decisions regarding your health."

 

"W- You're not actually! You're just- wearing one!"

 

"Regardless."

 

"AuDy." It's weird to say that name out loud. It's been so long. Mako tries- He tries not to think about that stuff, about back then. It's been so long but if he looks at it directly his hands shake. "AuDy." His hands are shaking now, because, oh, they're here, AuDy is here, AuDy is alive, still, and Mako never caught that, never figured it out, because he's stupid, still, always has been, he's never good enough, he wasn't good enough. "AuDy-" and fuck is he crying now, is that happening? He stops walking. AuDy can pull him over if they want but he's not walking anymore. Throwing a useless tantrum, maybe. But this is a lot and all sudden, and, it's been awhile since he was with a friend, any friend. And. Fuck, he's tired.

 

AuDy stops walking, doesn't pull him over. Mako's holding their hand really hard now, but they're metal, they won't complain. They squeeze back a little. "We will go to Orth's house. There is a couch. You will sleep. "

 

“I don't sleep anymore," Mako mumbles, scrubbing at his face. 

 

"You will again."

 

"Ok," Mako whispers. This is not how his day was going to go. He was going to do his job and then do the next job, and the next job. Not run into a dead friend and be forced into vacation. 

 

“I will make food.”

 

Mako wrinkles his nose. “You’re terrible at that. Cass said, you were useless, they banned you from the kitchen.”

 

“From their kitchen,” AuDy shrugs.”There are other kitchens. I have learned.”

 

“I guess we’ll see about that.”

 

\--

  
  


Orth isn't too far off from the caricature old man Mako had in his head. Gray hair, glasses, wrinkles, even a damn sweater vest. He hadn't pictured the look of surprise, but it makes a fair amount of sense.

 

"I did not retrieve groceries. I found Mako. Can he stay on your couch?" AuDy asks it as a question, Mako thinks, but it also just sounds like a statement. Orth seems to take it as such. 

 

"Uh- yeah, yeah, sure, Mako- It's good to see you, come in."

 

Mako hovers on the doorway, feeling like this is big, this is a capital t Thing, a choice. This is peace or order. This-

 

AuDy yanks his hand where they still clasp it and Mako is inside. Ok. "Uh. Hey. Thanks. Where'd you dig up this maniacal robot?"

 

Orth laughs a little. "AuDy- I hurt my foot, they just showed up at my door one day. Only a little more surprising than seeing you just now, how long's it been?"

 

"I dunno. Awhile." He knows, he knows, 4002 days, almost 11 years. He hadn't exactly avoided him, he just. He was busy. "Saw your books. Still think he was a prick." 

 

Orth laughs again, one big HA. “Well. You’re not wrong, I think. You look- Have you eaten? We were getting dinner ready, we’re out of garlic but it should taste ok without it.”

 

Mako raises his eyebrow incrementally at the "we" but Orth doesn't seem to notice. "Yeah. I could eat. Thanks."    
  
Orth nods, then awkwardly heads back into the kitchen. AuDy goes to follow, then waits for Mako to join. He sighs. This is happening. He follows, dragging his feet a little. petulant. It smells good in there, like honey and spice and and lime. Orth is stirring sauce on the stove top.  He looks a little surprised at his audience but keeps working with the skill of someone who's had years of time to learn to cook. Mako blinks and sees a depressing amount of takeout meals (11305) flash before his eyes.    
  
"I have garlic powder, it'll work in a pinch. Been making pork roast all day, doing the marinade now. "   
  
"Fancy. Though AuDy, I think this is cheating, how do I know the good cooking isn’t Orth?"

 

“You will have to stay for another meal. I will cook it alone.”

 

Mako squints at them. “This seems like a trap. You just want me around longer.”

 

“Yes.” AuDy states it plainly and Orth laughs.

 

“They really are a good cook,” he insists. “I don’t know what they were like before, but, really. The food is good.”

 

Mako hums noncommittally and leans on the wall in the very short hallway into the room. AuDy is all the way in the kitchen, taking plates from a cabinet and retrieving silverware. Them and Orth move around each other with familiarity and Mako tries not to feel the sudden stab of jealousy that hits him somewhere in the ribs. It's fine. It's fine that AuDy came out of retirement or whatever for Orth first, he was hurt, sure. It's fine. Mako’s broken 12 bones in 15 years, been stabbed and shot and strangled. But. Whatever. It’s fine. AuDy moves past him, beckoning him along. They go out to the side of the living room, where a small table is tucked against the wall next to a window with a row of potted plants. The plants are thriving, green leaves and new shoots.  AuDy sets the table and sits in one of the chairs, gesturing Mako to sit in another. Mako rolls his eyes and does it. AuDy is too difficult to argue with. Orth comes out in a few minutes with a tray of meat and vegetables, soaked in a delicious smelling sauce, in his hands. AuDy serves the food once Orth sits down, piling a generous helping onto Mako's plate. He makes a face at them, feeling like he's run into an aunt he'd never had and is getting fussed over. 

 

Orth chuckles. "They're.. a little forward in their caring."

 

"Yeah. AuDy, you're not exactly subtle."

 

"Some problems do not require subtlety. Orth. Mako is not sleeping. You must convince him otherwise." 

 

Orth and Mako freeze a moment, both caught by this sudden request. Orth slides his eyes over to Mako. "You- are you taking the pills?"

 

Mako sighs, leaning back in his chair. "I have a lot of work to do. I have to."

 

"Working for Addax, still?" 

 

"Yup."

 

"I'm sure he-"

 

"I don't want to stop. I have to- it's important. I don't have- There's nothing else for me to do."

 

Mako doesn't look at either of them, stares up at the ceiling and makes up images in the popcorn ceiling. A cat. A long, twisty dragon. Rigour. He shudders. "I don't want to sleep." 

 

"Mako..." Orth sighs. Mako doesn't even peek. "It's not healthy. I know- I know it feels like the star system rests on your shoulders, I  _ know _ \- but it doesn't. It doesn't to the point where you have to destroy yourself. Sleeping is good, besides. It's nice."

 

Mako coughs a laugh. "Yeah, ok."

 

"Really!” Orth says, amused, embarrassed. "Mako-"

 

"Where's your bathroom?"

 

"...Down the long hall."

 

Everyone at the table knows it for the excuse it is, but Mako needs to escape this line of thought and he takes it without shame.

 

\--

 

He tries to avoid mirrors. It's second nature now, to let his gaze glide over his reflection without looking, without seeing. In Orth's bathroom he stares at everything he can. The pleasant blue of the walls, the basket of magazines. He reads all the labels on his soaps and shampoos. As he's washing his hands, though, he thinks. Well. Why not. He's seen more of his past today than he thought he'd ever care to again, might as well do this too. A steadying breath, and then he raises his eyes.

 

Fuck. He got old. He could feel it, feel more aches, tired muscles. He’s, what, 45 now? Ish? That was a thing he really did lose track of, somewhere along the way. What’s the use of age? The pale blue of his skin is almost greyish, pallid. Bags under his eyes. There’s gray in his yellow hair, in his short but unkempt beard. He doesn't look like-

 

And it hits him like a fist, he doesn't really look like any of them anymore. And he thought that might be a good thing but instead it's the tearing, rending feeling of loss again, because he's tried so long to forget what he looks like, what Larry and them looked like and now he's lost them  _ again _ . He grips the edge of the sink tight and searches. It's there, he's still himself, eyes and nose and hairline, but he's old and none of the rest of them will ever be. It's so incredibly too much. Mako crashes out of the bathroom, closes the door solidly against ghosts, against this horrible realization. He stumbles back out to the dining room table and sits down and immediately starts eating, hoping his desperation for the others to not look at him is big enough that they'll know it without him having to say anything. 

 

"Ma-"

 

"AuDy. It's ok, let him eat. "

 

Thank whoever for Orth Godlove. The food tastes good, he thinks, but he's also crying pretty heavily now and he's sure this sounds disgusting but the others are still quiet, Orth eating too, AuDy-

 

AuDy reaches over, places a hand on Mako's shoulder. His hands shake, he has to set down the fork and he feels ridiculous, weeping with a mouthful of food, face in hands, helpless like a child. "Sorry,” He mumbles, muffled. 

 

"It's alright." Orth's voice is soft. "It's alright Mako."

 

Mako shakes his head because it's not, really, nothing's alright, it hasn't been alright in so long. He just wants to- He misses the Chime, he misses people, he misses - "I want to sleep, I would like to sleep, please- sorry, can I- I-"

 

"Of course." AuDy sounds so sure of it that it's a comfort rather than a weakness, an admission. "You will sleep. You are safe here. You can sleep."

\--

 

Mako calms down, eventually (10 minutes and 52 seconds), and Orth cleans up the table. His guts twist, guilt rolling around in him. The other two bustle around him and he feels useless, useless. Soon, earlier than he probably normally does, for Mako’s benefit, Orth heads to bed. AuDy pats his cheek before he goes, says “Thank you,” in a low volume setting and the intimacy hurts to look at. 

 

"Are you gonna, like... watch me sleep?" Mako stares at AuDy who has moved to stare at him, standing imobile a few feet from the couch where Orth has piled some extra blankets and pillows.    
  
"Yes."

 

"That's weird."   
  
"You will run if I do not."   
  
Mako winces. Yeah, well. He had been banking on that. He'd be left alone to sleep and he could do exactly  _ not _ that at all and just slip away. He's good at sneaking. Better, now, than he was. And he had melted down a little during dinner but he’s ok now, he’s strong again, he can make it. "I wasn't going to run.”   
  
"I believe you are lying."    
  
"I believe you're the worst."   
  
AuDy crosses their arms.   
  
"You can't make me sleep," Mako protests petulantly. "Just because I didn't take the pills today doesn't even mean I'll be able to. I haven't slept in ages, it's not gonna just. Happen."   
  
“The pills you and Orth have both taken are meant to have no lasting effects. The last time you took one was three days ago, the intended length of the dose-"   
  
"Still creepy that you know that."   
  
"-so it should wear off very shortly, and you will rest."   
  
"Augh." Mako flops his head back against the couch. "Why do you care?"   
  
Mako can hear AuDy coming closer but wont give them the satisfaction of looking at them.  "You are my friend. I have been gone a long time, but I am back, and I will make sure you are healthy and whole."   
  
"You will, huh?" Mako spares one glance. Fine. AuDy is standing above him, looking down at where he sits. They have no more expression than they ever do, but Mako senses hesitation.

 

"I am sorry. You were alone."   
  
Mako lets out a big breath in a whoosh. Taps his fingers on his legs and tries to ignore that his eyes have started to burn, that exhaustion has been pooling in his bones for the last few hours (the last few days, the last few years.) "Yeah, well. 99% of everyone I cared about died. You fucking  _ died _ . AuDy. How could you not tell me? If you were watching while I- How could you not come back sooner?" Molten rage seeps around his insides, but he feels strangely removed from it. Sleepy. He can't weld it into anything useful, and instead it just a little bit makes him want to weep again.  "How could you?"    
  
AuDy sits down next to him on the couch, Mako watches with eyes that keep drifting shut. "I was offered escape, and I took it, and then I went, and I saw. I am very old, or fairly new. AuDy...I.... Did, really, only start to exist when a parking robot gained sentience. I, Discovery, have existed for 50,000 years. It's all.... I had to leave. I am sorry."   
  
Mako blinks and forgets to open his eyes again, leaning sideways til he slumps against cool metal.  "Yeah. Ok. I'm still mad."   
  
"That's ok."   
  
"I missed you."   
  
"I missed you too.”

 

\--

 

Trees again, he never sees this many trees in real life, only in dreams or when he fogs things, and it's been so long since he's had a dream he spends moments trying to remember what system he's in. But he's asleep, he's not doing this, he's in here with trees, endless, they're all around and he knows in the same way he knows things in a computer or a ship or a robot that they continue forever. It's quiet but he can hear things at the edges of his- hearing? Is that a phrase? His own voice, maybe, and he knows this isn't real for certain now, because he hasn't heard- Larry is gone, is long gone. His name, somewhere in the trees, and he feels the impulse to catch it, to go and find and hold the sound, but when he tries he is stuck, he looks down at his feet and there are black vines, sharp thorns, wrapping around his legs, pulling and trapping and growing up his body, and then everything shakes, shakes again, and it's here, cracking the ground, rising from the soil, Rigour. Mako struggles but the vines grip tighter, he can never escape, he's always been in this forest and always will be, he can never-

 

"Mako."

 

Mako blearily blinks at a small apartment, feels hard fingers brushing through his hair.

 

"It's alright. You are safe. Sleep."

 

Mako close his eyes again, and drifts off.

 

\-- 

 

Mako wakes up in the morning and AuDy is no longer beside him. He didn't dream again, just seamless and content sleep. He has no idea how long he was out and that’s the full truth, he wasn't counting, tracking.  There are sounds coming from the kitchen again. Mako stretches, wincing as his back pops a few times. Old. Weird. He sits up, stands up, doesn't remember taking his shoes off but they're not on his feet now, and walks to the other room. AuDy is at the stove, making eggs, Orth reading the news at the counter.

 

"Oh! You're awake! AuDy was right!"

 

Mako looks over at AuDy. "Your brain waves were coming out of REM cycle, so. Breakfast."

 

"Is it still morning time? Not going to even address how creepy it is that you can sense my brainwaves."

 

Orth smiles. "It's about one pm. Still morning sort of. One pm is definitely morning, some days."

 

Mako makes a face but figures that's true. He liked to sleep in, once. "You didn't help them with the eggs, did you?"

 

"Not one bit."

 

“Ok. The real test. You ready AuDy?"

 

"Yes."

 

The eggs are sunny side up, on toast that's the perfect level of crunchy. "You don't know the trick though." Mako says, grabbing his fork.

 

"What trick?"

 

Mako gets his fork under the egg, flipping it so the runny yolk part is on the bread, smushing it down a bit so it begins to leak all over it. "This way is doesn't run so much everywhere, and the bread is all nice and yolk-y, which everybody knows is the best part."

 

"I will take note of this."

 

“Sunny side down, I guess. It tastes good, fine, you can cook, I admit defeat.”

 

AuDy very deliberately washes the pan. “I don’t know if eggs are enough to prove it. They are not complicated. You will have to stay another meal, to be sure.”

 

Orth breathes a quiet chuckle and Mako shakes his head.

 

“You’re still not subtle, you know.” AuDy makes a noncommittal noise and Mako rolls his eyes, but he finds a smile coming to his face.  

 

"Will you stay?"

 

Mako looks down at his plate, mostly finished. Two meals. (A day and a half lost of work, 30 hours, he could have done so much in that time-)

 

Maybe- 

 

Two meals. Maybe he can do a third.

  
  
  
  


PART THREE

 

AuDy travelled very far, for a very long time if you were a recently sentient parking robot, or no time at all if you were a 50,000 year old divine. They had lost their ship, their home, all fire and sudden stop, and then they had taken the hand offered to them. They travelled, for 15 years, and saw many lovely things.

 

They had seen lovely things before. Aria Joie singing softly to herself as she worked on her mech, smiling when she noticed them (AuDy meets her children, now, isn't quite sure what to do with a human younger than mostly grown but Mako laughs enough that they figure they're doing alright.) They have seen Cass making meals meant for sharing (AuDy remembers and follows their instruction as they prepare food for Orth and Mako, how they had chastised them with mirth in their eyes when AuDy failed to do so back then.) They saw the joy of Mako in flight, heard the brilliance of his laughter (his laugh is starting to sound close to that, again.) Orth. They saw Orth. They stayed away for so long because these sorts of lovely things were hard to hold, difficult to reconcile with how things had ended. It felt too fragile.

 

AuDy sits, now, at the Orth’s small kitchen table, next to growing plants, next to a smiling Mako, next to Orth himself. His hand in theirs.

 

Lovely things.

 

Late afternoon sun streams through the window. They’ll stick around awhile. 

 


End file.
